it's okay to be upset
The National Football League took ten minutes to create a shoddy video declaring “Football is Gay”. The video was like a Terminator going back to destroy a century of unabashed heterosexual joy. “Football is Gay” is a weird thing to say. This video is weird. It feels like 12-year-old girls …
Charmed lives aren’t actually charming. They’re defined by how much sex ordinary-looking dudes can have with hot women. It’s not the only measurement of quality of life, but it’s the best one. Friendships are probably a distant second. To confirm this ranking, ask your best friend if he’d sell you …
When a corporation eyeballs a trending social issue, they jump on that marketing opportunity like capitalistic stink on shit. Black History Month means a promo on LeBron hoodies. Breast Cancer Awareness Month means 30 days of moving pink couture. It’s adorable and for such a good cause. Shareholder value. Pride …
#PrideMonth is the hashtag you fly if you want to be seen as supporting the gay community. Or crassly selling them banking services or ben-wa balls. Celebrities view LGBTQ pretty similar to the banks and the anal bead purveyors. How do I get in on this week’s virtue market to …
Nothing sucks more than an onslaught of testosterone when you’re trying to act like a lady. Like the aunt with a post-menopausal mustache she can’t shake. American track star CeCe Telfer wanted nothing more in life than to be a biological male who beat the crap out of girls in …
In a more civilized society, child actors would be disappeared at age eighteen, or earlier if they start declaring their pronouns while still in fake online high school. I’m not suggesting murder. I’m good with whatever we arrive at as the humane forever isn’t coming back solution. Their parasitic stage …
Harambe Didn’t Kill Himself, by Lex Jurgen, published by Decorum International, 2021. Good Nature Stories · Harambe Didnt Kill Himself “I’m just trying to get by in a world that wants to see me extinct,” Harambe would often say, from the first day he arrived as a mating transfer male …
In Wuhan Bat Meets The AIDS Monkey, a defiant bat escapes a Chinese virology lab and flies all the way to Africa where he makes the most unlikely of friends.
In Befouling the Beaver, A plucky squirrel defends the woods from a group of hungry beavers intent on clearcutting his squirrel family’s tree neighborhood.
“Truth to Power” is a nauseatingly overused and misapplied social meme. But it applies here. The slug-like lifeforms who live to ruin others with secret information have the power. The truth is not backing down. Stand your ground. Not necessarily Florida style, but all the same, remind the world that people who destroy things are inherently worse people than those that build.