There comes a moment in every social cause and political crusade when it’s time to earnestly answer the question — have we become the bigger offenders in this battle?
Nobody starts a civil rights movement with the intent of trampling the basic civil rights of so many others. The same way Einstein never envisioned that E=MC^2 would lead to a fat porn addict in North Korea holding the Pacific Rim hostage. Most people see themselves as benevolent. Though the human condition calls for little honest reflection. Hence, ruin in the name of good has ruined far more on this planet than ruin in the name of ill intent. The Inquisition wasn’t commenced on the idea of “let’s be super mean to people”. The goal was salvation. Who could argue with that? The flaying of the skin of heretics was merely an unintended consequence.
The Time’s Up movement morphed out of the MeToo movement which morphed out of everybody suddenly remembering that Harvey Weinstein was a vicious creep to women. He was also vicious to men, but at least their potted plans weren’t forcible watered from his disturbing seed. The leaders of the movement are incredibly wealthy Caucasian women who happen to work in the motion picture and television industry. Though they have quickly aligned their struggle with the Hispanic Female Producer Pickers because that’s a natural kinship.
The nature of offenses that quality for a Time’s Up Torquemada visit are so incredibly broad that the might be defined as “men acting like men”. According to Terry Crews, mankind has been thinking about male behavior all wrong for tens of thousands of years. He is a former linebacker, so you’d expect he’s got this whole anthropology thing nailed. But on the off-chance he’s wrong, the Time’s Up premise assures that men will be guilty unless they modify their primordial genetic composition, and make it snappy.
As a practical matter, the Time’s Up banner stands for every bad thing men every did to women in the past, and the reverse of that now. Like how the Italians trampled Mussolini after his toppling. Though if Mussolini were merely a guy who sold oranges and may have looked down a woman’s top as she bent over to retrieve a fallen Tarocco. Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone. And by he, we now mean “she”, and by definition, she is without sin. Moses came down with new tablets when nobody was looking. It’s all there in limestone etching.
Incredibly privileged women are finally feeling empowered, largely by claiming the grand prize of victimization. There’s no logician who can solve the riddle of how announcing your offended status results in the dominion of your offender, yet somehow it seems to be working. Largely by fear of reprisal and Twitter backlash, partially by the naturally cowering nature of men in entertainment, and in some measure thanks to Wonder Woman. There’s no way to know that last part for sure, but the transformative nature of that mediocre DC comics film can’t be underestimated.
In the latest all-encompassing, encompassing case before the Time’s Up Tribunal, Mark Wahlberg stood accused of deftly negotiation for himself a $1.5 million dollar kicker for the two week reshoot of All The Money in the World. The reshoots necessitated by everybody also suddenly discovering that Kevin Spacey was a gay predator. Late 2017 saw a ton of immaculate revelations such as the Spacey groping and grabbing disclosures. A true Age of Enlightenment.
Wahlberg’s cash pay day caught the eye of All the Money in the World actress Michelle Williams, who had agreed to perform in the reshoots for eleven bucks and a one-year subscription to Crackle. Nobody even knows what the hell Crackle is, but you know it’s not worth a million five. Time’s Up fascia wielding Brentwood Ladies Club members quickly identified the disparity and called a Code Red on the gender pay gap and patriarchal systemic degradation of women. Given more time, they could’ve invented more charges, but those two seemed enough for a social media storm behind the cleavage of Jessica Chastain and her valiant put-upon sorority sisters.
Naturally, nobody thought to consider that the blame lay with Michelle Williams, her agent who negotiated both her original contract and reshoot parameters, or the fact that Mark Wahlberg, for reasons nobody can quite explain, is the single highest value actor in Hollywood today. While comparatively speaking, Michelle Williams can only deliver her family and perhaps ten college friends to a movie opening weekend. Wahlberg brings two middle-aged women wishing they could rub his tummy.
Since outrage equals guilt which equals unending torch and pitchfork carrying mobs outside each of your seven estates, there was no doubt Wahlberg was going to fold in some dramatic fashion. When the Commissar comes calling, you bend the knee or you go to Siberia. Wahlberg doesn’t like Asians; he’d do horribly in the camps along the Verkhoyansk mountains. Instead, Wahlberg handed over his seven figure paycheck to Time’s Up. Being a Catholic, Wahlberg has some insight into how Indulgences work with the Church. This is truly no different.
Wahlberg’s donation and affirming letter of his commitment to the cause, whatever that may be, defining it only means it might go away, were roundly applauded by women with far too much time on their hands and an axe to grind. Michelle Williams herself provided the stamp of approval on his release from potential heretical blacklisting. When you make fifty million a year, you can afford to pay off Uncle Sam, save some wildlife in Africa, and provide envelopes of cash to Rich White Women’s causes to keep them from labeling you “one of them”.
The Time’s Up movement and its zero tolerance policy for anything it can’t tolerate based on entirely subjective standards reminds us that most incredibly insidious cultural and political movements were started by the elite in the name of the defenseless. Communism comes to mind. With Tenement Housing and Soda Taxes to round out the big three. There’s a reason your High School President was always a jock or a scholar, and never a drama kid. Egocentric people who revel in playing pretend don’t make good leaders. Also because your high school wasn’t ready for a gay President yet. The notion that booking a few blockbuster films suddenly transforms these lean minded thinkers into egalitarian gurus is without any substantiating evidence.
The name Time’s Up comes from a threat, most often uttered by a villain in the movies starring the female leadership of the movement. Time’s Up or what? The best answer we have to date is, $1.5 million.
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