Nothing sucks more than an onslaught of testosterone when you’re trying to act like a lady. Like the aunt with a post-menopausal mustache she can’t shake. American track star CeCe Telfer wanted nothing more in life than to be a biological male who beat the crap out of girls in sports. Everybody’s got their thing. Telfer made it far for a 400M hurdler who had to keep her man junk tucked up in her lycra pouch. She won the NCAA title in 2019. She expected to compete in the U.S. Olympic trials. But damn those male hormone levels.
Unlike high school boys who put Hello Kitty barrettes in their hair and announce they’re girl athletes, the Olympics demand their gender-bending male-to-female athletes reduce their testosterone levels to a measurement that allows the IOC to pretend any of this bullshit is normal. Telfer failed that test. I wouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but Telfer looks more manly than your average Semitic cellphone store salesman.
Telfer’s DQ for having too much man juice in her girl persona could’ve led to a bigger discussion about whether or not dudes who want to be chicks should be allowed to ruin women’s sports. But we can’t handle that conversation in America. Those that can have been rounded up and hogtied in the basement of a vegan coffee house in Park Slope.
Telfer’s agent quickly pointed out that Telfer would be dropping out of the Olympic trials. Which is an interesting response to being kicked out. I’m not fired, I quit. If only I could quit this big swinging dick between my lady knees.
“The model of grace in the face of adversity, CeCe will respect USA Track & Field’s decision on her eligibility to compete at the US Olympic Trials this Friday in Eugene.”
So by grace, we mean not flashing a boner when you’re supposed to be a woman. And by “in the face of adversity” we mean, White Supremacists secretly injected her otherwise coquettish body with testosterone, but we’ll abide. Until the T drops below the absolute maximum threshold and we can beat the crap out of those puny women again.
