When a corporation eyeballs a trending social issue, they jump on that marketing opportunity like capitalistic stink on shit. Black History Month means a promo on LeBron hoodies. Breast Cancer Awareness Month means 30 days of moving pink couture. It’s adorable and for such a good cause. Shareholder value. Pride Month may be the biggest snake-oil swamp of them all; look, our dumpster sale comes with a colorful avatar overlay. All the colors of the rainbow. Like Bennetton, but for same-sex fucking. Now buy these fair trade kaftans at 30% off for Pride.
Celebrities are corporations with a single greedy owner. Every celebrity is a mini shameless marketing department pimping their wares despite a chasm of underconfidence in the worth of their product. It’s not a wonder famous people hop on cause months no different than Foot Locker. Halle Berry isn’t the first Hollywood opportunist to turn an alt-month into a great naked photo. Tell me why you’re cupping your own breasts for Holocaust Remembrance Day? Oh, that’s right, your second husband was half-Jewish. Now he’s half-broke. Oh, this cruel world.
Halle Berry took to Instagram to share a photo of herself topless in a rainbow skirt. The setting is unclear, but assume it’s the LGQBTQIA+ Forest. Or Santa Barbara. Same thing. Every forest is kind of gay if you run into a lonely woodsman who is stronger than you. The skirt looks like it was repurposed from another event. Like a circus-people swingers convention. But, hey, you’re 54, and you have no back fat. Harvey Milk would’ve been pleased. Though definitely not turned on.
Berry is one of the 50-something models and actresses who keep posting veiled nude or skimpy bikini photos of themselves under the empowerment or cause banner. It’s an obvious ploy for attention at the expense of the real underlying cause. But when you have nice tits, obvious ploys quickly turn into 100K likes. Check out my perfect honkers at half a century old. And, oh, yeah, I think women in Myanmar are being systemically raped. Call the U.N.
