The Half-Naked Kardashians of Iran Are Fomenting Revolution

When babies shoot out of birth canals, they know no culture or religion or race. That could be the bridge in any number of lousy Lilith Fair songs Though it better explains why we have obnoxious rich chicks in bikinis flaunting their bodies on social media from every single country on the globe. It’s perhaps the single most universal bit of human nature visually available the world over. Girls want to get likes.

Numerous nations under dictatorial rule have attempted to limit the manner in which kids of privilege and breast implants can distract from the propagandized themes of the nation’s deposit rule. They’re all failing, or failed. China’s perhaps the best at censoring the Internet of their citizenry, and even there you can find girls in low cut tops showing off their new sunglasses.

Anybody whose spent time around the Persian diaspora understands their native desire to flaunt their gold by the foot and the shine on their black and white floor lacquer. Like urban hip hop, but with hookah over blunts. The Iranian population used to be an open land of regal wealth and multi-caste status. The Islamic Revolution putting dudes with beards and smelly 20-somethings in overly ornate yarmulkes made the ostentatious and the materialistic verboten for some period of time. But you can’t stop progress. Or the rich from exercising their right to stand next to their Italian sports cars in selfies.

The Rich Kids of Tehran, an Instagram account featuring a few dozen elite offspring of Iran’s lingering Have and Have-Nots social system, is said to be motivating the anti-government protests in the Islamic nation these past several weeks. The natives have been kept in line with a combination, Islamic orthodoxy, anti-Semitism, and the threat of dungeon stays. With a crumbling economy and the bulk of the nation’s working poor feeling like maybe they’re being duped by their high-living Imams, unrest is spreading. The Rich Kids of Tehran aren’t helping with shots of rich chicks in Tehran with uncovered heads, breasts out, drinking booze, and dancing. The four tentpole no-no’s of the religious orthodox. Sins for which the commoners would be beaten in the streets by the Muslim censors. The Rich Kids routinely praise the country’s fundamentalist leaders, many of whom are their very relatives, while clearly dismissing the 5th century teachings.

Nobody said running a theocracy centered around a blindly allegiant populace and a super wealthy class or hypocritical insiders would be easy.  The Catholic Church ran into the same trouble prior to the Reformation in Europe. Selling indulgences so the Cardinals could afford better homes for their prostitutes was a tough one to explain. Not every country is the U.S., with the benefit of a figurehead immune to charges of excess, self-indulgence, and whore-mongering. In fact, those are the lead bullet points on his LinkedIn profile. In Iran, the double standard is starting to piss people off. While social media is heavily restricted, people are seeing shots of these rich girls in the capital smoking hookah in their hot tubs and thongs. After an obligatory tug, that could piss off the proletariat.

The Kardashians will never bring down America because they are America. Or the lascivious, wind-up sex toy fun parts of it. It’s like calling America fat. We are. It doesn’t bother us like you might think. Iran on the other hand could turn on their Ayatollahs if people feel the relentless shafting of theocracy is not shafting all equally. Remember when we decided to give up booze and women and disco music only you secretly didn’t give it up? Yeah, that betrayal could take down a nation.