NCAA Makes It Possible for the Cavinder Twins to Get NIL Paid

For a long time, the NCAA got away with the premise that college athletes were amateurs, who in exchange for playing sports in college were granted a free college education. At least the sought-after athletes did. Everybody nodded their heads because it made sense that “kids” would get a free ride at a university in exchange for playing for ole State U. This remained the canned premise even as poorer and poorer, largely minority kids were groomed to play college ball for free as the universities set up richer and richer lucrative TV and ticket sale deals.

The NCAA steadfastly refused to allow any compensation be given to scholar-athletes. Merely calling them scholar-athletes was part of the ruse. Scholars first. Check the Fit Bit on that Miami linebacker. I’m pretty sure he was in an on campus classroom twice last calendar year. The huge conceit — these are amateur athletes. Kind of like how when I got my first teen job I was told I could be paid less than minimum wage because I was “learning on the job”. That job was cleaning bathrooms at a swim school where toddlers routinely puked. The learning curve wasn’t steep. Five bucks an hour.

Most large school sports programs worked around the NCAA rules through the years by scheming to have rich alumni set up college players with overpaid jobs or luxury items posing as necessity items or merely just hookers and blow as needed. Though even that graft paled in comparison to the real business worth of a Zion Williamson playing college ball for Duke. College ball isn’t the NFL or NBA in terms of revenue, the players aren’t worth millions, but they are worth six-figures a year. Many multiple more so if you consider their endorsement value for commercials and licensed products. You don’t think LSU fans wanted to buy Joe Burrow tees during his college championship run? They did. A ton. He got nothing.

Under decades of pressure to “open the books” and finally admit it’s idiotic that you have a football program that generates $300 million a year and you pay your employees with free humanities classes they don’t attend, the NCAA finally relented and will now allow college players to sell their names, images, and likenesses (NIL) and keep the money. Meaning, commercials. Lots and lots of commercials and Nike shoes coming soon.

Naturally, not every college athlete is going to turn a buck in this freshly free market. For instance, sorry all Water Polo players. I mean, sorry for many reasons. Men’s Handball players — you’re getting bupkis. Women college athletes who aren’t in the elite upper echelons and or capable of a tear jerking women’s empowerment profile in Elle, good luck. But the big dogs are going to eat. The guys who’ve been touted since 13 and only attend college because they have to. Because quite conveniently, that’s how the colleges make huge money. Thank you pro sports arbitrary rules committees. If you’re a future 1st rounder in any sport, you’re going to get deals. And if you’re blonde and hot and have a following on TikTok.

The new NCAA rule opens the door to those two lucrative categories — star athletes and not star athletes who look good in skimpy outfits and have fans on social media. Hence, the very first deal that went down when the NCAA revised its policy was Boost Mobile paying two blonde twin girls basketball players, Haley Cavinder and Hanna Cavinder, The Cavinder Twins, at Fresno State. Can they pass, can they dribble, do they have crazy hops and electric shooting skills? Who knows. Who cares. Also, women’s basketball. So entirely beside the point. They have three million TikTok followers. And now they can sell cellphone services and make some cash.

“That was an ideal one for us to kind of launch and say, ‘Hey, look, this isn’t just about blue-chip athletes coming in and sort of trying to get them before [they get to] the NBA or NFL. This is about all athletes. And every athlete in every sport in every type of school has an opportunity to really create value for themselves.”  

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We probably have another 24 hours before the Cavinder Twins who don’t get such deals turn to OnlyFans. Repeat after me: OnlyFans is not porn. Three more times and that’ll become true. But why not? The Haves and Have-Nots among the college athlete game is about to get intense. Star athletes in real sports will be making big money. Hot girls in fake sports will be making good money. And 95% of all other college athletes will be stuck with that “free Iona college education” bullshit. If nothing else, somebody’s going to notice that it’s black dudes and blonde women getting all the cash. I’ve already noticed it ten seconds in.

The bigger question is, will big college sports change now that players are cashing in. The obvious answer is yes. The non-obvious answer is also yes. Clemson football head coach recently remarked that if college players start making money, he’s leaving for the NFL. Such a principled stance for a guy with a $8.3 million annual guaranteed contract to be a college teacher. But much like trying to run a cotton plantation post Emancipation Proclamation, you need to find a new way to motivate your employees beyond merely reminding them they have no other workplace options. Try threatening to pull the scholarship for a smart-talking Alabama WR when he’s taking home $375K a year already for pimping Copper Fit knee braces. How much is four completed Gen Ed classes at Alabama worth again in the professional marketplace?

There’s no doubt this is the fair outcome. Keeping mostly poor kids playing ball for free for a couple or three unnecessary years was obviously a lopsided, insanely inequitable business model. Amazon’s paying $15 an hour and people call them Satan. Try zero dollars and couching it under “student-athlete” bullshit that hasn’t rang true in at least half a century. This may ruin college sports, and if so, that’s too bad. Just like cotton tees presumably got more expensive after 1865. It’s the price you pay for not being horrible.

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